Neurodivergent Coping Skills and Strategies for When Unexpected Change Arises
People who are neurodivergent process the world differently from a neurotypical person. The ways these differences manifest can vary widely between individuals, but it’s accurate to say that many neurodivergent people struggle to deal with unexpected change. Consequently, one of the most critical coping skills for neurodivergent adults is to master strategies for dealing with the curveballs that life inevitably throws at us.
Understanding Neurodivergent Adults
According to the Cleveland Clinic, “Being neurodivergent means having a brain that works differently from the average or ‘neurotypical’ person. This may be differences in social preferences, ways of learning, ways of communicating and/or ways of perceiving the environment.” The term neurodivergent can apply to adults with clinical diagnoses, such as autism or attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, but it may also apply to those who have not been diagnosed with a specific condition. Because the range for what qualifies as a neurodivergent adult is quite broad, the related coping skills and strategies are also diverse.
Why Are Coping Skills Important?
Neurodivergent adults, by nature, experience the world differently than a neurotypical person. In practical terms, this means that an average environment, from a coffee shop to a classroom, is not necessarily set up to meet the needs of neurodivergent people. By developing appropriate coping skills, neurodivergent people can navigate a world that is not tailored to them, and many can thrive while living independent lives.
Coping Skills for Neurodivergent Adults
Coping skills for neurodivergent adults can fall into a few categories, including calming activities, self-care, sensory soothing, and therapeutic techniques. The best coping skills for adults will depend on their specific needs.
Calming Activities
Many neurodivergent adults are more sensitive to their environments than their neurotypical peers, which at times can lead to sensory overload, feeling overwhelmed, and even meltdowns. Calming activities can help address overstimulation and may include:
- Listening to music
- Deep breathing and meditation
- Playing with fidget toys
- Physical exercise
- Touching or playing with a pet
Perhaps the most critical coping skill for any person, whether they are neurodivergent or neurotypical, is to be able to recognize when they are feeling overwhelmed and have the self-advocacy skills to remove themselves from the situation.
Prioritize Self-Care
Taking time for self-care is another important coping skill for neurodivergent adults. Simply taking a bath can be a way to calm the senses and allow the stressors of overwhelming situations to metaphorically wash away. Other self-care techniques can look similar to calming strategies and include:
- Guided or silent meditation
- Outdoor activity
- Physical exercise
- Pleasurable hobbies, such as art, reading, music, or video games
By taking time to prioritize self-care, neurodivergent adults can fill their metaphorical cup and be better prepared and more resilient when they are faced with unfamiliar or overstimulating situations.
Identify Sensory Soothers
While something as simple as turning off the lights can help when a neurodivergent person is experiencing sensory overload, that may not always be possible. Fortunately, there are many ways to address sensory overstimulation, whether it is rooted in loud sounds, bright lights, or even powerful scents.
Pressure and touch can offer soothing sensory experiences when applied correctly. Weighted blankets, lap pads, and weighted vests can all provide calming sensory input. Swinging, sitting in a bean bag chair, or even gently scratching or brushing the skin can also have a calming effect.
When noise is overwhelming, noise canceling or noise blocking headphones are extremely helpful. Essential oils, dark glasses, soft fabrics, and fidget toys are also sensory soothing items that can be useful for neurodivergent adults.
Apply Therapeutic Techniques
The hope is that neurodivergent adults have access to mental health care and counseling services as needed. A mental health professional can help neurodivergent adults learn therapeutic techniques that are tailored to their specific needs. Some neurodivergent adults benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which can help people recognize and reorganize the thoughts that tend to lead to overwhelming feelings or problematic behaviors. Therapeutic techniques may include journaling, mindfulness, role playing, and exposure therapy.
Stay Connected
Being able to access coping skills in moments when emotions are overwhelming takes a lot of practice. One of the best ways for neurodivergent adults to engage in this type of practice is with the help of their support community. Particularly as young adults start to live more independently, staying in touch with and connected to family, friends, therapists, and other supportive community members is critical in helping them learn to thrive.
Neurodivergent Coping Strategies
In addition to learning the skills necessary to navigate unfamiliar situations, coping strategies can make sure that neurodivergent adults know how to apply those skills.
Have a Plan Beforehand
Coping with stress and overstimulation is much easier when there is a plan in place ahead of time. In a calm moment, neurodivergent adults can work with their therapists or trusted advocates to create a plan for the next time they feel overwhelmed. In its simplest form, the plan could take the form of “when this happens, I can do this to help myself calm down.” A few examples include:
- When a room gets too noisy for me, I can put on my headphones to help myself calm down.
- When I start to feel overwhelmed by group social activities, I can take a break to get some fresh air.
- When the lights are too bright in a room, I can put on my sunglasses.
Practicing these scenarios before they turn into real problems can help people who are neurodivergent remember and utilize their coping skills in the moment and avoid meltdowns.
Run Through Potential “What If” Scenarios and Situations
Although neurodivergent people cannot always predict when they will become overwhelmed or overstimulated, there are certainly times to be more aware, such as during the stressful transition to college or the workforce from high school. Creating a plan with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist may involve running through “what if” scenarios before embarking on this type of new experience.
For instance, a neurodivergent person taking a bus to a new class may want to think about what they will do if the bus is late and plan for what to do if it starts to rain while they are waiting for the bus. Playing through likely scenarios can help neurodivergent adults access their coping skills should the real scenario present itself.
Self-Regulation: Know the Signs of Stress and Anxiety
It is only possible to apply coping skills and strategies if people can recognize the signs that they are becoming overwhelmed. If a neurodivergent adult becomes overstimulated, once they have calmed down, they can talk with a trust therapist or friend or even just journal for themselves about the physical and emotional sensations they felt beforehand.
For example, some people may start to feel warm, some people may start to sweat or have a dry mouth or upset stomach, and some people may simply feel “off” in a way that is difficult to explain. By noticing and writing down or verbalizing what they are feeling in any given moment, they can learn more about their experiences and start to recognize patterns. With practice, neurodivergent adults can recognize the signs of overstimulation before it becomes too much to bear, and they can implement their coping strategies to avoid meltdowns.
Transitions offers weekend or year-long programs for neurodivergent young adults to help them learn and practice coping skills in a safe and supporting environment, which is helpful for many students. Contact us today to learn more.
